Friday, September 11, 2009

Broken Wings ...

I'M STILL TRYING TO FIND MYSELF. I've been so confused lately. I want to sleep, I want to wake up. I want to do something productive, I don't want to do anything. Everyday I have to choose between if I'm going to do something in my life or should I just sit it out and try again tomorrow. I have way too many personalities and I honestly can't keep up with them all. I was looking through an old magazine of mine and saw how perfect every single guy is like in there. They all have ripped bodies, a really hot chick next to them and really fashionable clothes. Every girl goes through this at one point in their life, where they see everyone's Photoshopped beauty and they envy to be exactly like them. I'm 16 and a boy, and I still do it to this day. I look in the mirror and notice I'm just a shabby little teenage boy with an emo haircut, and I would do ANYTHING to be like those guys in the magazines. Or would I? Because if I really wanted to be like them I could make myself into an exact replica, and I would've already done it. So am I ready to give up all my scene feminine dark humor for handsome boyish Prada jeans? I think it's a stage that needs to pass quickly, so I can finally expose the real me. WHO IS THE REAL ME?

I saw this butterfly today and noticed he wasn't like the other butterflies. He had the same insecurities as me, and I know exactly how he feels. He's scared. He feels alone. It's like trying to fly with broken wings...

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