Friday, August 06, 2010

a LONG letter

Dear __________,

i just feel very compelled to write a letter and you're the first that comes to mind, so i'm addressing this to you. i guess i can ask how you are? what have you been up to? i'm still the same. every time we talk you ask me what new has been going on with me. nothing. i know i'm disappointing, but i'm so numb i don't really feel anything anymore. i miss our daily chats on AIM and the text messages i used to waste my minutes on; for you. i didn't mind though, you were worth it. and you still are.

i miss you. not like you have gone anywhere, but we just randomly stopped talking. for some reason, i've been thinking about you a lot. just yesterday i was skipping through the tv channels and saw Zeke & Luther. (haha don't judge). but i guess seeing Luther reminded me of you. (darn, i practically just gave away who this letter is to). but anyways, i also had a dream about you last night. in the dream, we hugged, and i woke up thinking you were next to me. at the time, i guess i was still unconscious, but it would be cool if that was actually true. i don't want you thinking i'm completely in love with you here, but i guess i can be honest and tell you how much you mean to me. face it, i couldn't be completely in love with you (as of now), but IF i could, i probably would be. you're very easy to fall in love with. remember how we sat up all night talking on the phone till five in the morning (and getting me in trouble for charging $70 to the phone bill because it was long distance calling.. haha)? but do you remember me telling you all that stuff about how much you mean to me. it wasn't just because you were someone new to flirt with. but it was all true.

& the pictures?
well i'm afraid to look at those. truthfully i don't feel very respectful when i look at them, because you mean more to me than those something, if you know what i mean. but at the same time i can't stand to throw them away. you are the definition of perfect. you may not believe me, but in my eyes you are. & i really mean it. distance is a bitch i guess.

i guess i'm writing this about all the friends i promised i would never loose, and the people i loved, that just left. i want you to never leave me, and the silence lately is scaring me. the "best friend i ever had" that i told you about, isn't listening any more. and the guy that i was moving across the country with (yes that's the one), won't talk to me anymore (i need to grow up first). and all the friends i had, no longer talk to me. i guess that's one thing fun about growing up. growing away from friends. i want you to be different. i don't want us to just stop talking. i don't want you to be another friend i loose. if i could pick one friend to keep for my whole life and to never grow apart from, it would be you. the internet has been slow, and we haven't been online much. and i no longer have a cellphone (as of now), but it's only temporary. please listen to me. be the only friend i have that will listen, and believe me when i say we'll never grow apart. if anything, we are going to grow closer, and do all that stuff fun stuff we talked about. we don't have to be lovers (heck i'm starting to like girls again anyways). just good friends. best friends. anyways the silence is scaring me. don't fade away like everyone else did ...
i love you way too much.


♥ nathan

1 comment:

  1. Hi nathanboo :P who says i'm not listening silly. I'm always listening. And you just about made me cry while I was reading this. You don't have to worry about me going anywhere cause i'm not :P i kind of cheated and saw the signature first and knew this was for me immeadiatly by the way ^__^ . .....Good Friends Best Friends doesn't really matter as long as you remain in my life . o and p.s. i never watch zeke and luther so i have no idea what they look like xD