July: Here We Go

Hello July. What a wonderful time it is to make some new goals for the second half of the year. If you are like me and failed at your New Years resolutions back in February, July is a great time to try again. Well, at least that's how I look at it with my OCD'ism'ness and all.

Ever since Finn's passing in February, I have been feeling a lot of regret about how I am missing out and wasting precious time that I could be using wisely. Life is way too short and I guess it takes a loss of a loved one to remind you to seize the day. With that been said, I don't want to lose anymore chunks of time within this journal. Sometimes I feel like I put too many rules and restrictions on myself about it... like only post on the first of the month (a particularly odd thing I like to do, I dunno why) or... "I can't post this, it doesn't have a picture" and etc. So, from now on I'm going to try to be a little more forgiving.

This year has been weird for me so far, as I've been feeling very emotional and stressed out. I've been walking slowly down memory lane and it's almost to the point that I'm getting lost in there. The reason for it is because I thought it would be a good idea to edit and move a bunch of photos to my phone... for nostalgic purposes, a timeline / digital photo album of my life and besides having a lot of fun going through old photos and scanning them, I was starting to feel very sad. About pets that I have lost, mistakes I have made, weird phases I went through and time I had wasted during (I'm looking at you emo kid from 2007-2010), friends that I had lost contact with, decrease in health, every aspect of my life being a disorganized hot mess, and etc. A lot of the stuff are things I can get over... I wouldn’t be who I am today if I never went down those roads / experiences / yadda yadda... but there's also a bunch of stuff that I am trying to wrap my head around and plan accordingly for the next chapters in my life so I don't make the same mistakes. I don't know though. I'm probably just having a 1/3rd life crisis. I'll get over it. But when it comes to the photos, I would still like to edit them and move them over to my phone to have all the memories in my pocket but maybe I should take my time with that project. You can apparently get stuck in Nostalgia Neighborhood and the past will start to consume you if you are there for too long.

Lately, I have been trying to work on my photography a little more and trying to get back in the creative mindset that I used to be in when I first started journaling. It's been tough and I'm very rusty... but I would like to get back on the horse. I am also going to try to get a little more organized with pretty much everything... my clothes need an overhaul, my music library needs a refresh, my phone gallery will be cleaned out and my computer files need sorting. Also, I decided that I am going to start eating better this month and of course I could go on but it'd be a boring read so I will spare you the details about all that.